Prague

Tallest Christmas tree in all of Europe, 2009. The thing falls on this English bloke; as if being English wasn’t making him miserable enough to begin with. Still suing Prague Council. Merry Christmas.

2010 – Tree’s five metres shorter and still the tallest in Europe.

Greese that's better than the musical

Wiz, Wizzy... What affectionate name can I now possibly give to my credit card, which has a new landlord and is formally named ’28 Degrees’? I think perhaps ‘Greesy’ is the right name to use, though this hardly portrays the awesomeness that my oh-so-magical Wizard once gave me (and still does, albeit under a more transparent title). This rant is to point something out – just how bloody good the greese in your wallet can be at the ATM (good enough to irritate their customer service team upon them knowing how you use the product). You top up the card with your own money and essentially it becomes a debit card, as you’re not running into the trap of withdrawing credit from an ATM anymore. But alas, you might find yourself with none of your own and delve into the wallet for another card, Greesy’s arch-enemy, in fact – the bank card. This may seem the better option when faced with the fear of credit card traps on the auto tellers, but believe me, when your bank card whacks a healthy $13 conversion fee on that taking, then the ATM scratches a further $5, the couple of dollars you’d lose before you top-up Greesy aint looking so bad anymore.

Albums 2010

Here’re my favourites for the year; the only list that you won’t find Arcade Fire on – hey, no one reads this so I don’t need to suck up to anyone / appease the masses.

20 – 11 in no particular order to kick it off then:::

Hungry Kids of Hungary – Escapades
Simon Carter – The Black Book of the Universe
The National – High Violet
Sia – We Are Born
Paris Wells – Various Small Fires
Nicolas Roy – In A Shoebox Under The Bed
Delta Spirit – History From Below
Boy & Bear – With Emperor Antarctica (and their cover of Fall At Your Feet on the Crowded House covers compilations is plain brilliant)
The Basics – Live @ The Northcote Social Club
Beach House – Teen Dream

And 10 – 1 in some kind of order:::

10.

Top track: Thieves In The Night

9.

Top track: This Is What I Said

8.

Top track: Hudson River

7.

Top track: Running Out

6.

Top track: Giving Up The Gun

5.

Top track: White Knuckles (Best video: This Too Shall Pass)

4.

Top track: Sunday


3.

Top track: Not Stuck Here


2.

Top track: Hold On, I’m Coming On (I think, this one was hard to pick one favourite from)


1.

Top track: Old Fitzroy and Letter – tie!

Heidelberg

I think I’m going to design a statue in honour of shininess. It doesn’t have to be too realistic or anything; really – I mean who would ever dream of scratching an actual wild boar on the nose. The thing about the statue is, none of these old fashioned folk ever really thought about how silly their work would look in a few decades time. For instance, the lions guarding Munich’s Residence are all old and dull, with miniature heads gleaming below them (and people don’t even rub these for a particular reason). My statue will give the “rubber” certain qualities depending on where the statue is rubbed. Let’s go with the pig idea – rub the nose for good luck, rub the stomach to find a good lunch, rub the backside for good bowel movements, rub the head to remember where you left your keys, and run your credit card through the swiper being held by the pig for, er, good fortune? Just imagine how shiny my statue will be in 100 years time; I might get into the Guinness Book or something.

There’s a monkey in Heidelberg that’s on the right track – shiny fingers and disc in hand; but still his mice friends next door are shinier than his hollow face because rubbing them means you’ll have lots of children. The terms and conditions, however, state that the children will in fact look like mice themselves and chew through all the electrical cables in your home. Still, the Germany doesn’t ask for your hard earned pennies to fall from the mouth of a pig into a drain. As if anyone exchanges a coin to rub the snout of their next ham sandwich.


The Bridge Monkey in Heidelberg, Germany


Porcellino in Florence, Italy

Munich

Mary’s column – a testament to the gullibility of Munchens, apparently. The story goes that the Swedish occupied Munich during the Thirty Years’ War (truth) – Munich being the highly Catholic city, and the Swedish those evil, evil Protestants. Munich had to get rid of them, so they asked what they wanted. The Swedes had their price, but the humble people of Munich couldn’t come close to scrounging all that together, so they went to occupiers with a price of their own: the share of gold they could manage, and the balance to be paid in beer. Now, this worked and the Swedes left, but afterward the people were a little confused because their boss man was nowhere to be found. They found their leader a few days later in a township well outside of Munich and they were pretty bothered by the fact they’d solved the problem and all the while he’d been hiding out. Not the case, he promptly told them, he’d in fact come out of the city following the occupation to pray to the Virgin Mother that those pesky Proddies get lost and, hey presto, his “praying” had worked. “Rightio, huzzuh” could be the loose translation of the Munchens, and up went the column to say thanks for helping hand Miss Mary! Now, looking back on this, the real saviour of the day was beer, not any heavenly being. Go beer – you are truly awesome.

And as with any town in Europe really, Munich’s got some nice churches around town. Frauenkirche is one that’s got a pretty funny story going for it. When it was being built, the Devil rocked up one evening and got really mad: “No way, not another one!!” – that kinda thing. So he goes to the door and opens the place up and there isn’t a ray of light in the place. “This is awesome!” he figures, as far as he could tell people would come to this “Church” to worship him in the darkness, not God! So he summons the builder and makes a deal with him: build no windows in the place and he’ll speed the building process to 20 years (that’s darn impressive for the time). The deal is made. Sure enough, the place is finished in the time period – amazing! The Devil comes back, pretty chuffed, and opens the doors only to find the place full of life, light and prayer! Now, he’s pretty furious at this point and summons the builder to throttle him and claim the dude’s soul. “Actually, buddy...” the builder begins, “I didn’t build any windows. Those were there the whole time, only blocked by these here pillars.” (see photo below) The Devil is so angry he stomps his foot into the floor of the church, leaving his footprint forever there (same size as mine, actually). So, if anyone is wandering how to build a church quickly... Oh wait, they can already do that these days.


Frauenkirche.. This was the Pope's hood before he moved to the mansion


Theatinerkirche.. This one's spectacular - so much detail, all in plain white plaster; a standout of the Church run

And beer. Oh, Munich and your beer. I’ve not been to Oktoberfest, but after seeing how busy the beer halls are in OFF season, I can hardly even imagine how crazy the place must be in late September! Here you’re expected to drink by the litre, and don’t just stop at one (it’s totes locs you know). It’s damn good, too. The purity laws ensure that everything is kept clean as well, so according to the locals there’s no such thing as a hangover from Bavarian beers (believe it... cue Ripley's Believe It Or Not music).

MELBOURNE MUSIC (02-10/10/2010)

It's The Animals!!! Oh wait, no, it's The Frowning Clouds... @ City Square, Swanston Street

Over the past week Melbourne’s been a little spoilt; with freebies spotted all over our fantastic city. Everything from acoustic performances on trams to full scale concerts in Federation Square have come together in the first “Melbourne Music” event – one which has embraced some of the lesser known talents about town, the love of the arts in Australia’s music capital, and the coming of warmer weather. Resulting in successes all round, Melbourne Music looks like something that’ll be back in years to come.

It’s been pretty hard to miss the free concerts about town – with the new City Square stage attracting as many unaware passersby as it did fans of the bands playing, and Fed Square booming on a couple of occasions.

In a massive kick to the teeth, avid St Kilda supporter, Dan Sultan, led the charge at Fed Square last Saturday post Collingwood’s thrashing of his Saints. Though no loss for his beloved team was getting in the way of his show; the man proving why he’s Melbourne’s favourite son and why you don’t have to pay for quality live shows – as did Melbourne bands Eagle & The Worm, Dan Kelly’s Dream Band and British India before him.


Dan Kelly's Dream Band trippin' @ Fed Square

Seriously though, Dan Sultan is a purebred performer – busting out all his big soul rock numbers to make the very most of his band. There was probably no better choice to launch the week.


Dan Sultan 'I Like It' - song title says it all!

What followed throughout the week were concerts on trains, trams, in the city centre, at stations, at the Arts Centre and all over the joint. Making the most of the City Square Stage – an installation across Collins Street from Melbourne Town Hall – on Wednesday night was local trio The Hazelman Brothers, who played a set of acoustic guitars and harmonies powered by a trailer bearing solar panels. And they only just went under 100 per cent post sundown; a fact that meant they could have played all night despite the overcast charging throughout the day!

City Square was certainly the key venue throughout the week, with concerts timed perfectly for anyone wanting to skip their homebound train to catch some tunes.


Jonathon Boulet gets people on their feet with 'A Community Service Announcement'

Melbourne Music was also the perfect opportunity to launch Fed Square Live - what is to be a fortnightly event at said venue that will feature our best emerging artists. Thursday evening saw the likes of Skipping Girl Vinegar and Jonathon Boulet launch the event – both charming acts drawing a nicely sized crowd.


Skipping Girl Vinegar rockin' out @ Fed Square

The biggest highlight of the launch (and there were a few) had to go to an old dude in the crowd rather than either of the bands. His martial arts style dance moves had the seated listeners amused and, eventually, up and dancing along. A true sport who’ll hopefully return in a couple of weeks when [ME] and Mr. Percival hit the stage.


Stealing the show: This old dude knows what the kids like


Jess McAvoy plays to a quizzical few @ Southern Cross Station

Finally, this last weekend supplied plenty for those wanting to get a final fix of freebies (and again for those not quite sure why there was a proper set up for Jess McAvoy and her guitar in the middle of Southern Cross). The Bedroom Philosopher – who’d previously sung about the 86 tram on, you guessed it, the 86 tram – entertained some hardcore fans and passersby at the tram stop in Bourke Street Mall; happily obliging “requests” by making up his own melody and words to the likes of Six Months In A Leaky Boat.


The Bedroom Philosopher entertaining commuters @ Bourke Street Mall

Sunday saw Oh Mercy close the whole event back at City Square – there breezy pop charming one of the bigger crowds on what was one the first “awesome weather” days of the season.

So, what more could we ask from this Melbourne Music event? Firstly, that it returns next year. Perhaps it could be extended – that’d be nice, especially if promotion was more heavy-on. The variety of locations this time around was great, as were the acts – though there’s certainly plenty more that’ll be wanting a piece of it next time. Overall, though – well done M-Town!!!

Ben Kweller + Delta Spirit @ The Hifi Bar, Melbourne (06/10/2010)

I've been wanting to catch Delta Spirit again since seeing them with Cold War Kids a couple of years back. Sure enough they came back, but they were doing the "support" thing again (damn it Australia, like them more!). Anyway, turns out Ben Kweller's pretty fun himself, so all in all a good night.

Here's my review from FasterLouder:

The last time Delta Spirit were in Aus, they were playing Splendour as well as supporting Cold War Kids on a national tour. Similarly this time around, the band tagged alongside their Californian buddy Ben Kweller instead of playing their own shows. They may not have a massive fan base here, but with a busting live presence like theirs, they deserve one.

Walking on stage as deadpan and dully as they could pull off, Delta Spirit seemingly put on a ruse to lull the crowd into confusion with a lacklustre verse and chorus of People Turn Around. Any worry was quickly punched in the face as the cropped version dropped into the heavy intro of Bushwick Blues, with the band belting about and vocalist Matt Vasquez squawking his mighty voice.


Bushwick Blues

What followed from there was a straight up rock show – no fancy gimmicks, just five musicians putting everything they had into their instruments. The set consisted mostly of material from the band’s second release, and from that it was predominantly the more raucous tunes. Percussion plays a big part in Delta Spirit’s shows too, and this gig was no exception with the addition of a second bass drum and various others during Children and the clank of a bin lid on, appropriately, Trashcan.

Their set was short but so devilishly sweet; enough to leave a good impression on new ears and satisfy fans (at least in quality if not quantity). Given that the Hi-fi made punters wait a good 90 minutes post door times, the short set seemed odd, though at least there was little wait for Ben Kweller once they were done.

“There’s no way I’m cancelling a show because of me.” Kweller was sick and he made it clear from the outset this wasn’t going to be his finest hour – but given the love-in he has with Australia there was no way he was going to let a bug stand in the way of entertainment. He knew what he had to do and his first rule of business was just that: teach the crowd the opening track I Don’t Know Why.

With the crowd happy to oblige and his band members’ mics turned right up, Kweller was set to go and although his ailment was obvious a lot of the time, he still had the engaging stakes working in his favour (all the while hoping he was a least not as bad as an “off Dylan show”).

Kweller has the kind of attitude you can’t help but like. He’s extremely laid back and can win over his crowd easily with a bunch of quips and his dorky expressions. He exudes a kind of positiveness that wasn’t at all deterred by the fact he was a little off his game; a kind of positiveness that he pulls off so well that it’s difficult to notice the menace when he sings stuff like, “I need a machinegun to blow you the fuck away from me.”

The night’s set list was a healthy mix of tracks from across Kweller’s catalogue, with new material nowhere to come by (as the man’s admitted he’d hate to be bored of it before releasing it). Teasing the audience with a reworked Sundress was a nice touch, the song staying soft instead of hitting fast and loud and provoking affectionate jeers.

A cover of Roger Miller’s You Can’t Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd was a fun addition, too, with Kweller adding his own little rant, “You can’t bring a guitar on a Qantas aeroplane” to the tune. He must have had planes on the mind, as later he announced, “I may not have a platinum record, but I’m platinum on American Airlines.”

On My Way was the biggest sing along of the evening, with the crowd basically taking over the choruses (much to Kweller’s relief), before he took another opportunity to rest his vocal cords during a very lengthy blues jam within Red Eye.


Fight

In the end, the cheer during the opening piano of Penny On The Train Track was telling of how much the crowd were waiting for Kweller’s signature track, and Kweller was all smiles as he held his voice together nicely to finish the night – complete with an interweaving of Brown Eyed Girl thrown in the middle of the song.

And like the germs he probably spat over the front rows, his smile was just as contagious; leaving the Hi-fi in high spirits indeed. With a new album due in the near future and an apparent obsession with our shores, expect to see a healthy Kweller returning soon enough.